So here's the deal, dude.
You're entertaining and cute and I now realize that I've had a minor crush on you for at least two years. I was thrilled when I ran into you last weekend and even happier when you texted two days later. But let me tell you something. These lame, half-assed ask-outs are not going to cut it.
I am a 32 year old woman. I've been doing this whole "single and dating around thing" for quite a long time, and you know what? I'm rather tired of it. In fact, I was just thinking I might take a break from it the very same day you texted me. I am pretty sure that you like me. Otherwise, it seems unlikely that you would have bothered getting back in touch.
But asking me if I know if there's anything good happening in the next several days? Why be so vague about it? If you want to see me or hang out, even if just as friends, just say so. I am quickly losing patience with this whole open-ended, maybe I'll see you, maybe I won't thing. And when I impetuously inquired about your Sunday plans, you could have just provided a yes/no answer.
Due to the fact that I am woman, and thus tend to over-think everything, I am now kicking myself for being too forward with my bold suggestion of Sunday? As if there is something wrong with asking for what you want.
In the past I might have used your interest in attending a party and seeing me there as a reason to organize such an event (I think that happened in an episode of How I Met Your Mother, actually. Shut up, it's a good show). I am no longer quite that ridiculous. Instead I will probably just watch some Netflix movies and try to block out the fact that my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend (or me 2.0 as I now call her), lives on the floor above me in my apartment building. That he has had sex in my building with somebody who is not me. Some woman who apparently knows what I look like and where I live and has for the past several months.
So, dude, as you can tell, it's been a wacky week and I am sort of tired of drama and mind games. It's totally fine if this me/you thing never materializes. The person I actually like lives 5 time zones away and I may never see him again, although his emails are very nice. But as far as the men in DC go, I've met many of them and one of two scenarios has played out every time. You're all getting to be somewhat interchangeable, and the fact is, somebody else will probably come along soon to make me totally miserable. Because that is what tends to happen. You are not special.
Moreover, my good friend M and I agreed earlier today that I shouldn't be allowed to pick my own boyfriends or dates anymore as I clearly have terrible judgment when it comes to these sorts of things and everyone is probably really sick of hearing about my soap operas. In fact, the word "convent" was brought up and not by me.
So, dude. Whatever. Ask me out or don't ask me out. No biggie either way.
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