So, dear readers. Something happened over the weekend that I SWORE to myself I wasn't going to share because it did nothing more than illustrate how train wreck-ish my romantic life has become. But then I friend did me a solid and posted her perspective on the manner in a most entertaining manner and I decided it would be all kinds of hyper-textish to provide some context. And, I had an epiphany of sorts last night and am feeling waaaay better about things than I was yesterday at this time.
For the past six weeks or so (until Saturday), I had been very casually seeing somebody. It started out as a friendship thing and slowly evolved into something a little more physical. I have fun with the person, the attraction is there but various obstacles have made us uncertain about taking it to the next level or actually "dating" one another. To be brutally honest, I initially began this thing with him out of mid-winter loneliness and a desire to distract myself from [redacted]. I needed a rebound from my rebound, so to speak.
So things were going fine for a while until Saturday when I happened to mention in a text message convo that I was at a certain bar with friends and then he showed up at said bar on a date with another woman, like 30 minutes later. It wasn't the date with another woman thing that bothered me. Indeed, I knew he had a date because he told me at brunch 8 hours earlier. I just laughed and wished him a good time. I afterall, have other options and it's not like this dude is my boyfriend or anything.
Stumble ahead several hours. I have already informed him of my whereabouts. I am drinking beer at a dive bar with a group of friends (which is pretty much my weekend default activity) and in he walks with his date. He feigns suprise, my jaw drops, and my friends, being the intutive people that they are, immediately smell what's up and start feaverishly whispering amongst themselves. Boy, who is now officially my ex-friend-with-benefits socks me on the arm says "hey, fancy seeing you here" and goes to sit across the room with his back to me and has his date.
While this could have been a totally reasonable time to launch a hissy fit, strangely, I did not. Instead I think I muttered something about how it's okay and sulked for a while while my friends assured me that I'm a pretty, pretty princess and stroked my hair and stuff. And then of course, the texting.
Despite the fact that all of this pissed me off enough to complain about it for the next 24 hours, I can't say I am really all that shocked nor am I that down about it. And while I was sort of surprised that he'd pull something about that based on my assumption that he's a nice guy, I finally had an epiphany of sorts last night.
Here it is: Any boy who casually hooks up with you and doesn't make clear strides to want to get to know you in a more meaningful way really isn't being that nice to you to begin with. Therefore, when he makes the dickish move of going on a date at the same bar he very well knows you are at, you shouldn't be that shocked or surprised. In fact, one could go far enough to posit that said move was intended to send a deliberate message, that message being GAME OVER or I'M A LOSER. Either way, why lose sleep over that one?
So um, there you go. Just a little nugget o' wisdom to get you through the early part of the week. You all had probably already figured that one out. I however, can be a little slow. Catch up with me some other time and I can tell you about why my ex may actually be a sociopath.