Somewhere around 3:00 a.m this morning I awoke to the sound of something unsettling in my apartment--an object falling to the floor somewhere in the dark recesses of my studio. At the foot of my bed lingered a foreboding blob-like figure. Bolting upright in bed, I emitted my very best horror-movie-heroine scream.
Finally adjusting my eyes to the dark I focused on the figure, which I believed could only be a scary burglar coming to murder me in my bed, despite my beyond paranoid tendency to triple lock my doors at night.
Of course I was wrong. Of course the figure I was so convinced was there to doom me to a fate of being stabbed to death under piles of Liberty print was actually...my fiddle leaf fig plant. The same fiddle leaf fig plant that has been situated at the foot of my bed for months.
This girl needs a vacation.