Like anyone narcissistic enough to maintain a blog, I am as enthralled with my site meter (oooh, passe! a site meter post) as I am with comments. After I pour my soul out to you dear readers, it's only fair that I should be interested in knowing how people arrive at this humble site. This is of course, where the referrals page comes into play. When combined with the power and knowledge of Google, it can be a thing of beauty.
Google may, by the way, be my favorite invention of the last 15 or so years. As somebody obsessed with magic 8 balls as a child, there is something so awesome about being able to type a question into your computer and (sort of) receive an answer. It's like having one's very own oracle. I could actually spend hours typing questions into Google, simply for the sake of seeing what it comes up with. If only this were a profession. I'd be all over it in a heartbeat.
So, this morning I'm perusing my referrals and I see that somebody landed on HP after typing "how do i know when im coked up" into Google (speaking of 8 balls--ba dum, ching! yes, that's right). Well, my dear friend from Lubbock, Texas, you have asked the right blogger.
In order to determine if you are coked up, you should ask yourself the following questions.
1.) Has any cocaine entered your body recently? While the most common method of introducing cocaine into your bloodstream is by snorting it, you can also smoke it ,or rub it a little on a bodily orifice. EW. That sounded appalling, didn't it? Oh well, I don't make these things up, I just report them. Nor do I judge. Seriously, you want to rub some coke on an orifce? Go right ahead.
2.) Are you talking quickly, enthusiastically, and with great authority about something that nobody else cares about?
3.) Did you type your question so quickly and with such haste that you misspelled "know"?
If you answered yes to question 1 and any of the others, you are indeed coked up.
You are welcome.
In the comments section tell me if *you're* coked up. If not, what are you 'upped on?